Bringing Gender Equality by challenging unfair gender roles:
By Aditi Dekatey,https://instagram.com/1364aditi?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Today, let’s think about gender equality and gender roles. First of all, What are Gender roles? Gender roles in society means how we’re expected to act, speak, dress, groom, and conduct ourselves based upon our assigned sex.These gender roles do somewhere hinder gender equality. To bring a positive change in Indian society, we must understand and explore how these gender roles affect us and how can we address the issue of gender equality. So, let’s dive.
Gender roles start right from childhood, and they indeed affect our personality, attitude and perception towards life as you grow up. Not all gender roles are unfair, some are pretty harmless, some very stereotypical, but some are straight unfair.Starting from childhood, we are so moulded into it, that it might be difficult to change our habits or thinking.
Gender Roles in Academics and career:
One very observable trait seen in our society is that people still expect girls to be all rounders. All rounders in the sense that a girl must study well, bring good marks, must be good in social skills, arts, singing, dancing etc
Academically, it is observed girls perform well in school, few join college and fewer join the workforce. The graph below shows female labour participation. In India, it is an extremely low 21%.why? Responsiblities of housework, childcare and elderly. Even if girls are making a career, they are expected to join careers that are indoor, and are compatible with marriage prospects, careers that require fewer time commitments, less hours etc. All this limits career options.
Even in the present age, some people do believe in traditional gender roles and may think that women need not work or have a career. Financial independence is important because it enables a women to survive in the world on her own. She can be a support to her husband, as well as survive independently . A women may or may not find a good marital home or sasural. Her needs might not be catered to, she may be given less food or left to die in illness by her immediate family . Both men and women work. But women’s family work is often unpaid, unrecognized labour.
What happens to boys? Do they face negative effects? Yes. They are taught to be breadwinners and encouraged to be ambitious and go for careers with high rewards, sometimes ignoring their own choices. Also comes the expectation and pressure of being a breadwinner. In case a man’s wife doesn’t work, the sole responsibility of earning and family needs falls on him. If you think of it, men aren’t given choices of whether they want to earn or stay at home.
Household work:
Just take this scenario. Consider a family with 2 children : a boy and a girl. In general, it is the girls and women who are expected to serve food to guests , help prepare food, keep everything clean etc. The girls and women are expected to do all the work while the men sit away talking. Imagine what the young girls and boys learn, and what they take into adulthood.
The girls get a burdensome expectation, that they are to serve, sacrifice, compromise ,adjust and tirelessly work for the sake of others ignoring their own needs and pleasures. Sometimes this work is thankless and taken for granted as well.
The absolute unfairness of this is stunning. The boys get an even greater message:They learn that there will always be a sister, wife, mother daughter doing all household chores and they start expecting the same. The result is boys and men who can’t even take water by themselves. The boys growing up start expecting their partner to take the exact same roles as their mother.
Well, you ask, is serving others harmful? Is doing household chores not a good quality?
Yes, it is. It should be everyone’s responsibility. But such types of expectations only from women hinders quality of life for them.
Not only is it straight unfair, it takes a huge portion of precious time and energy that could have been used in study, learning and improving skills, career enhancements and of course, takes away relaxation and me time from women. Working women are sometimes ‘ allowed ‘ to work only if they can manage housework and children as well. This severely affects financial independence and reduces opportunities for paid work. So do you think housework should be shared between genders or not? Do women deserve equal treatment and value in houses?
Behavorial aspects:
Behaviour is largely influenced by gender roles. Let’s delve into smaller examples and see the effect it has on society.
We all have heard phrases like ‘ Good girls’, ‘Naughty boys’. Can’t girls be naughty and boys be quiet?Even when boys tease girls, girls are often told to ignore and often suggested ‘ Boys will be boys’ or something like that.Girls are asked to be quieter, sit properly, not laugh,eat less, eat after the boys( in rural or traditional settings atleast).It might seem like a small thing, but it normalizes unfair behaviours. And it can turn or lead into abusive and toxic behaviours in later life. The girls also start learning to expect abusive behaviours from men. They might internally accept that their presence is not as valued, their ideas or expressions need to be restricted, and also that they need to accept or adjust to sometimes toxic behaviours.
Being polite, soft spoken, serving others, taking care of others is assumed to be natural to a girl, or rather it is moulded into her. These are not bad qualities, but should not be the onus of only the female. The negative result of this expectation is that when women deviate from these expected( though unfair) behaviours, they are labelled as bad women, reprimanded for not being girly or womanly.
It is also note worthy how differently the society thinks of working men and women. The working man is a family man who works so hard for the family, and a working woman to be selfish, working for her personal benefit. When a woman voices her opinions, she’s aggressive, arrogant but a man is confident for the same.
Isn’t it time to change these expectations and let us all be our own individual person.
Parenting:
If both are parents of the child, then both are responsible for raising the child. In majority of Indian houses, the mother takes most of the responsibility of a child, working or not. From diapers to feeding to clothing to studies to sanskar. Mummies are blamed for incorrect behaviours of the child, for bad marks at school, for anything that goes wrong and the bad mother label gets attached.
Also, majority of the financial responsibility falls on the father, which itself is unfair, and they miss out in their parental responsibility as well as quality time with kids.When all work pressures, stress and financial responsibility is on 1 parent, they may miss family and kids time
Appearances :
Let me ask a simple question. How many boys in their teenage years are into crash dieting? Maybe rare. But girls are into it very much. It’s not only about weight or dieting. In general, women are expected to look beautiful , have a slim body, dress nicely and take care of their appearance. A women with acne or old fashion is judged more than a man who has similar characteristics. Whether it is young girls or old women, all of them tend to invest more in their appearances, simply because they are expected to. Or rather, if you think, are likely to be judged harshly if they don’t take care of their hair, skin, makeup and indulge in fashion. Think of it. If someone is attending a wedding as a guest and if the beta and bahu both come wearing jeans, the bahu is judged harshly while the beta is not. Even old women can’t stop comparing sarees and jewelleries. I do not intend to disrespect any culture here. We all should take pride in our ethnicity, culture, region, food, traditions etc. But at the same time, we must stop judging others and setting beauty expectations.
In contrast, look at how women are shamed that they are a distraction for men.Some villages even follow the ghunghat and sar pe pallu. It’s so intense that if you are not covering your head, you are disrespecting and attracting others. Your character is judged, you are deemed responsible for any mishappening incident. This is one of the most dangerous faces of society. When it comes to sexual crimes, the women is put to blame, even when she has no fault. When someone says, ‘Men will be men’, ‘ He just got attracted’, they are actually justifying horrifying behaviours.A man is a human being, who has to and should be able to control his own actions and senses, and is responsible for the same. You can’t justify a man’s assault as a natural tendency or an involuntary act.
At the same time, such moulds created by the society, such normalizing and generalizing of what a man or a woman behaves or should think like, affects men also. For men too, they are seen as sexual beings who can’t control. Even in courts, an accused is immediately taken as guilty. Whether it is domestic violence, rape or any other, the man is ny default assumed guilty and it is difficult for him too, to prove himself as innocent.
Gender roles actually are unfair to both men and women. There are many more roles, more stereotypes,more moulds,more bubbles other than the ones mentioned here.I have written this article by my own observations and experiences, I urge you to look, observe and experience how society is different for men and women. Is it unfair or not? If it is, how do we challenge it? How do we break free?
If you ask me, the simplest answer is yourself. If you are a woman, you can stop trying to be the naari who sacrifices constantly for others. If you are a man, take family responsibilities and spend quality time with them. Be the super dad for your kids.
As I conclude, I would like to clarify certain aspects. Since I(writer) am a girl, this article might seem biased even, but it can be taken as the perspective from a girls point of view and what she faces in society and also because discrimination more often happens against girls than boys. The article also includes gender roles for males and their effect wherever possible.Secondly, I do not blame all men or boys for existing gender roles . We all have been brought up in the society in certain ways, and must change positively for a better future. Also, majority of the gender roles are women setting expectations and roles for themselves and other women, and harsh judging for deviating from the expected. Thirdly, this article is a general view of Indian society, and an individual may or may not have faced all of this. But it indeed is a reality that is faced by atleast a section, and the article mostly intends to encourage the reader to find gender roles and inequalities they observe and face and challenging them. And lastly, a role is not necessarily wrong, it’s the implied expectations, judgements and inflexiblity that these gender roles offer, that needs to be challenged for a better tomorrow
1.https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/sex-gender-identity/what-are-gender-roles-and-stereotypes
2.https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.indiatoday.in/amp/diu/story/less-than-10-percent-indian-men-involved-household-chores-survey-1731199-2020-10-13
3.https://www.google.com/amp/s/wap.business-standard.com/article-amp/economy-policy/bs-number-wise-the-surprisingly-low-number-of-employed-women-graduates-122072101077_1.html
4.https://www.google.com/amp/s/indianexpress.com/article/explained/why-india-is-no-country-for-working-women-explainspeaking-7249928/lite/
